My experience as a single adopter

By Karen*

Two years ago, my son Danny* was placed with me as a little baby. Danny* was only a young baby when he came into care, the then youngest of a large
sibling group and in his young life he had already experienced so many changes: the loss of his parents, his siblings and his foster carer. I am so happy that he has settled so well into my care and become part of my
family as well as he has done.

There’s been tears, laughter and many changes to my way of life. I have made lots of new friends and lost some as well, it’s true to say. This journey has been challenging, as any parenting is, but when you adopt you are accepting a child for who they are, regardless of any issues or problems that are a result of their past. All children have needs, but a child who has been removed from their home and has made the journey to be adopted has other things to resolve.

I have been so lucky to have the constant support of every-one at Nugent Adoption, from some really specialised help around Theraplay to some great social events where I can meet up with other adopters, including other single people who have adopted.

Adoption had always seemed the right choice for me. I knew I wanted to be a mum but the right relationship just hadn’t happened for a whole variety of reasons. I had worked for many years with children and young people in a range of different settings but even with this experience, it took me a long time to take the next step towards adopting a child of my own. The prospect of opening up my life to a child was a big step for me as I was living a happy, carefree, single life, but I knew friends who were adopted and we had many conversations about their experiences as an adopted child.

It just made me want to do it and I’m so overjoyed that I did. Being me, I did loads of preparation even before I expressed an interest with an agency. I made sure that I was as ready as possible, getting my home and finances in order as well as making sure my family and friends were aware of my plan. As a single adopter, I knew how crucial it would be to have a positive and tested support network who could help me to parent an adopted child.

Danny’s* siblings are placed with their own adoptive parents and he gets to see them regularly. It’s lovely to see them all growing up, knowing each other and their shared histories. I also meet up with his foster carer and each year, I write to his birth parents. Danny* will hopefully maintain that part of his identity; I believe his roots are an important
element in him feeling secure in his future with me.

If you are considering starting your adoption journey then get in touch with the friendly, experienced team at Nugent Adoption:

01744 613041
adoption@wearenugent.org

*Names have been changed.